Do You Want to Build a Snowman?

5 Mar

No. No, I do not want to build a snowman. I want to run. I want to run outside. I want it to be over 40 degrees, and I want the sun to come out, and I want to go outside, and I want to run outside!

I’ve never liked snow. As a child I grew up in Charleston, SC, so snow didn’t happen with great frequency. The first time I saw snow was on a visit to see my grandparents in the Philadelphia suburbs. My parents were so excited to show me snow for the first time, like most parents seem to be, so they opened the front door and had me gaze at the wonder. I promptly replied, “Get that white stuff offa my car, I wanna go home.” They bribed me with a Happy Meal to play in the snow, I lasted roughly 15 minutes.

A year or two later it did actually snow in Charleston. Again my parents were excited for the opportunity to play in the snow. My dad wanted to do the father-daughter bonding activity of building a snowman. We got the snowman erected and he headed into the house to find something to use for arms, I believe he was thinking BBQ tools would work well. While he was gone I decided I was done with the snowman and knocked him over. My dad was displeased. As you can imagine.

Me - Sitting on the remains of the snowman

Me – Sitting on the remains of the snowman

Then there was the time that I went sledding and injured my knee as I flew down the hill.

Are you noticing a trend?

So, here we are, watching another 4-8 inches of snow fall on Philadelphia, and here I am thinking, “Hey, Mother Nature, there’s this little thing called the Broad Street Run, maybe you’ve heard of it, yeah, so, I need to train for that. Can you cut me some mother*$@&ing slack??” This winter has been wrought with below freezing temperatures, thin ice, thick ice, sleet, and snow, and I’ve been trapped inside.

Over the winter I’ve seen many folks running outside, sometimes even ON THE ICE. But as you’ve heard over the course of this blog, I fall down. A lot. I’ve had to answer yes to the question that the doctor asks at your annual physical: “Have you fallen more than twice in the past year.” My nickname as a child was Calamity Jessica, a take on Calamity Jane. So running on ice, or snow, or general slickness ups the likelihood of me falling (which is already rather high) by, oh, let’s guess, 1000%. It’s not an option for me. When I see those runners I lament that I am not running, but then I remember what Amy Poehler says in “Yes Please”: “Good for her, not for me.”

So this is me right now, wanting to do whatever Frozen things do….In Summer!

DISCLOSURE: My husband loves snow and has every desire, that I do not share, to build a snowman. Out of devotion to the man I love, I have agreed to craft an Olaf out of snow this afternoon. So I will in fact be building a snowman. Just needed to be up front about that.

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